Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Huffington Post Misses the Point

Ms. Huffington posting
The Huffington Post posted a number of interesting facts. But they failed to draw any logical conclusions about them. I have contemplated each of these realities and provided the obvious responses on behalf of the Huffington Post. If they employed me to write for them, they wouldn’t have to cast about for answers.
Me thinking up conclusions

When awake, the human brain produces enough electricity to power a small lightbulb.
Which is why I cannot think clearly with the lights turned on.

According to astronauts, space smells like seared steak, hot metal and welding fumes.
In other words, it’s one big backyard barbecue out there.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.
Big deal. I haven’t been fully awake for seventeen.

All the stars, galaxies, and black holes in the universe only comprise about 5% of the mass of the universe. As crazy as it sounds, the other 95% is unaccounted for. Scientists decided to label this mystery material “dark matter” and to this day they are still not sure where or what it is.
And you wonder why I have such a hard time understanding String Theory?

There are 60,000 miles of blood vessels in the human body. That's enough to wrap around the world 2 1/2 times.
Right, but if you tried to drive a car on them, some idiot would pull out in front of you.

A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.
That’s funny enough without a conclusion.

Squirrels forget where about 50% of the nuts they’ve hidden are.
Which means the squirrels are finding more of their sh*t than I am.

Without its lining of mucus your stomach would digest itself.
Maybe so but then it would probably want an after dinner mint and a glass of port.

Current estimates suggest that there are up to 400 billion stars in the Milky Way galaxy and up to 50 billion planets. If even 1% of those are in their systems Goldilocks zone, then there are 500 million planets in our galaxy alone capable of supporting life.
Hell, New Jersey can’t support life. How do they expect a planet way out in space to?

Some animals have the ability to freeze solid during winter, thaw in the spring and remain perfectly healthy.
Not surprising. Neanderthals can do that too. Just without the “remain perfectly healthy” part.

You could remove a large part of your internal organs and survive. The human body may appear fragile but it’s possible to survive even with the removal of the stomach, the spleen, 75 percent of the liver, 80 percent of the intestines, one kidney, one lung, and virtually every organ from the pelvic and groin area.
Some humans have been living just fine with 90% of their brain not working.

There are at least 10 billion trillion stars in the universe.
I’m sure that would make Carl Sagan very happy.

During pregnancy if the mother suffers organ damage, the baby in the womb sends stem cells to repair the damaged organ.
The baby could be arrested in several states for doing that.

Thank you for reading. Maybe go check out Ms. Huffington's Post too, to keep her happy.
See you next time?


  1. I'd rather read your columns and posts than anything by Arianna.

    1. Why, thank you Eve. You rock too. And The Desert Rocks. (read her blog, folks, and check out her book at Amazon).
      But I just love saying Arianna shall we dance?...Arianna shall we sip wine together...Arianna do you want fries with yours.
      I'm going to ask my wife if she'll change her name to Arianna.

  2. I not sure which of the multifarious bits of information you offered up here I should comment that a response?

    1. Hey, Jack, it's good to hear from you again. I was afraid one of them Montana bears gotcha. I'm going to check out the multifarious bits again, just so I can repeat multifarious bits, it rolls off the tongue so cool.