Thursday, July 25, 2013

Critical Announcements from the Lunatic Assylum

New from the HuffNPuff Post: 5,280 foods that will make you fat if you eat too much of them and don’t get adequate exercise.

A baby of some sort was born in England. Jan Marshall (author of Dancin’ Schmacin’ with the Scars) has not yet had my love child. (See my earlier TLA post: Jan Kellerman Marshall Wants My Love Child.) This post found it’s way to The Sage News Network, a Canada based Onion-like online zine run by Chris McKerracher and others. Worth a look. Have your cyber passport ready. You’re going international.

I cried because I had no shoes and no iPhone, until I met a man who had no shoes, no iPhone and no iPad. We bought shoes and walked to the Apple Store.

Shortstack is live (metaphorically speaking) at Amazon Kindle Store. 
It costs the same as a Super Grande Double Decaf Mocha Macho Cappuccino with Espresso Shot. Aren’t you hypercaffeinated today anyway? But if you’d rather not help pay the rent at my expensive four hundred square feet Brooklyn apartment, you can get the eBook for free (That’s $0.00 in Amazon speak.) on Monday 7/29/2013. A prize goes to the reader who finds and reports to me the most typos, misspellings, and grammar errors I left in on purpose so Buzz Malone, Chaunce Stanton, Jane Turley, Marian Allen, Phil Simpkin, Karen Wyld, Todd Grundel and the loonies at Google Plus’s Literary Kittens Hate Agents will have something to do while laughing. Keep a pencil and pad of paper with you while reading. Byron Edgington (author of The Sky Behind Me, a memoir; get it, read it) is not in this contest. He has already submitted his list of 147 typos, which have been corrected in the version that is live now. If you are one of the lucky few who have an older version on your computer, save it for the Smithsonian. It is a collector’s item and can be sold on eBay. The paperback edition will be available soon. Have a slice and a glass of wine and be patient.

If you have any money left over after reading Shortstack, here are other books to consider:
Blank Slate Boarding House for Creatives by Chaunce Stanton (I’m 25% into it on Kindle; the can’t-put-it-down point occurred early in this book.)

The Sky Behind Me, a memoir by Byron Edgington. This is next in line for take off on my Kindle.

Silence of Centerville by Buzz Malone. Five stars, my review is on Amazon and Goodreads. Read this while waiting for Buzz’s next great novel due out this year.

Death Lurks in Cock Muck Hill by Phil Simpkin. This is on my Kindle awaiting its turn.

Anything by Marian Allen. See her extensive list of fantasy, mystery books at Amazon.

The House that Smelled Like Urine by Giovanni Russano (Todd Grundel). I haven’t read it yet, but suspect he should rent an apartment at The Luntic Assylum.

Thanks for reading. Hasta la vista?
(The writing at The Lunatic Assylum is the opinion and satire of Timothy Hurley and has not yet been vetted by the NSA.) 

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