Monday, June 24, 2013

Saved from the Supermoon

The New York Times said the moon races around the Earth in a sort of a circle, sometimes coming closer and sometimes farther away.
If they say so.

They called it the Supermoon because it was getting closer to the Earth.

The people in my building were skeptical about the moon. We were convinced the Supermoon was on a course to smash into the Earth, probably in Times Square.

The people in my building were right to be frightened.

New Yorkers have cause for concern.

 We have scientists and professors and retired doctors living in our building. We're smart, educated. We recycle.
We ain't dumb.

We took a keg to the roof and chanted and banged on pots and pans and drank the beer. 
Not Gregorian chanting

There are no astronomers living in the building, but if there were I’m sure they would have agreed with us and joined us on the roof.
Mr. Sagan agreeing with me from an alternate reality

We chanted and banged and drank until the moon went back into its orbit and all danger passed.
We all deserve to feel safe.

We do not expect the people of Earth to thank us. Superheroes do not wait around for gratitude.
A donut and cup of coffee might be nice.

We just do what needs to be done, touch the brim of our ten gallon cowboy hat, and ride off into the East River, hi ho, Silver away.
You’re welcome.

Thank you for reading. Next time?

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  1. Ah! Being looney ain't no crime?

    1. Thanks for reading, Frank. Being loony helps me see more clearly.

  2. Those are some special pots you have in your building.

  3. The real reason for the moon getting closer to the earth from time to time is because the earth is in a wobble, and so the earth wobbles some 21,000 or so miles closer to the ain't the moon that gets closer to the earth. Now don't that make a heck of a lot more sense than the moon being in an oval orbit? The maintenance guy (he was turning up the heat on the boiler when I found him)living in the basement of your Assylum told me so...I think he said his name was Stephen.

  4. Thanks for reading, Jack. That's quite a wobbly theory you have there. How much whiskey and wine does it take to increase the wobble? It's a cute idea though that the Earth flies through space. Ha Ha. We all know the Earth is the center of the universe and flat and held on the back of a giant turtle. Carl Sagan was such a wacky guy with all those theories about stars and planets and such.